Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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