so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
