Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
