I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
