It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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