You can't motorboat a personality
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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