I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
