yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
