when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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