Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
