I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
