The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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