Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
