Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
