I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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