I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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