I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
