the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
