we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
