we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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