she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
