Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
