At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
