he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
