I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
