is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
