Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
