I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We got so high we made milksteak
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
