Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
