i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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