What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
