you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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