and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
