You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
