Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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