He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
