didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
