dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
