they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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