So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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