youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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