i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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