Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
