I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
time to smoke my breakfast
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
