Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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