I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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