you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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