I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just tell him i said nine months
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
