Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
