Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
