So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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